Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Experience at ‘The View’

Let’s just get one thing straight: I do not watch The View. I find those women to be unbelievably catty and annoying, and Elizabeth Hasselbeck is one of the most backward thinking ignorant people I’ve ever seen. But when I got an email saying they were doing a show on how to get a job, and wanted the audience to be made up of unemployed people, I figured, “Why not? It’s free to attend, and maybe they’ll give out some free stuff.” You’d be amazed the things I’d sit through if there’s potential for free stuff. I was hoping they would hand out new jobs like Oprah hands out new cars. Alas, it was not to be.

I arrived at the ABC studio bright and early to get in line, then once inside a few hours later, realized they didn’t even have enough people to fill the audience. Glad I rushed out of the apartment this morning! We were also promised juice and cookies, which were never delivered (as juvenile as that may seem, I don’t know any adults who don’t enjoy partaking in juice and cookies). Since the theme of the show was “finding a job”, I was anticipating questions being taken from the unemployed audience. Instead, we got three “experts” offering advice that (hopefully) anyone would already know. For example:

*Don’t show up late to job interviews.

*Don’t lie about your past work experience.

*Make sure your resume highlights your accomplishments, not just your responsibilities.

*Be careful what you publish about yourself online, because potential employers may see it.

Are there people out there who don’t already know these things? If so, I’m truly appalled that I’m in the unemployed pool with them, because clearly I am a genius.

At the end of the taping, we received free copies of two books written by two of the resident career experts; one will help me figure out who I am and what I should do with my life, and the other will teach me how to earn money from home while wearing fuzzy slippers. Perhaps I’ll get a jump start by posting both of these texts on eBay.

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