Friday, September 18, 2009

I Bet You Can Pick More Emmy Winners Than Me

While I admittedly go a little hyper-fan girl for the Oscars and the Tonys, I’m just not that into the Emmys. Mainly because I don’t watch enough TV shows to really have an invested interest in who wins. There are the select handful of shows I insist on watching, but after spending so much of my free time at the movies or at the theater, there’s just not enough left to devote an equal portion of my entertainment-addled schedule to TV. Plus I have a full time job, people! There’s only so much I can give!


Nevertheless, I’ll most likely tune into the Emmys this Sunday, mainly because I love me some Neil Patrick Harris. And I’ll make mental notes of shows that I should start watching, and then never follow through. So for what precious little it’s worth, here are my uneducated predictions for this year’s Emmy winners:


BEST COMEDY SERIES
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office
30 Rock

Weeds


Hey, I actually watch these shows! Well, not Flight of the Conchords, but six out of seven ain’t bad. I’d guess one of the Thursday night darlings gets it. Personally, I still prefer The Office to 30 Rock, but that doesn’t seem to be the case with Emmy voters. So 30 Rock for the win, because I want to go to there, and take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant (or insert your catchphrase of choice here).


BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Jemaine Clement, Flight of the Conchords
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men


Hm…30 Rock and The Office are the only ones I watch, but I’ve heard that The Big Bang Theory is actually very funny. I’ll guess Alec Baldwin will win, but I’ll also guess that I’ll be wrong.


BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program


Tina Fey, all the way.


SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Rainn Wilson, The Office


The 30 Rock boys are always consistently funny, but I’ll bet that having two nominees from the same show will cancel each other out. So I’ll go with NPH for the well-deserved win.


SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty


Hm…Pushing Daisies couldn’t get any lovin’ no matter how hard it tried, so no. Jane Krakowski is the weakest link in the otherwise strong 30 Rock chain (sorry, but it’s true), so no. Weeds hasn’t been funny since they left the ‘burbs, so no. I like Amy Poehler and Kristin Wiig fine, but SNL has sucked to bad and hard for too many years, so no. Which I guess leaves Vanessa Williams. Sure, why not?


BEST DRAMA SERIES
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men


I only watch three of these, and both Breaking Bad and Mad Men are PHENOMENAL shows. I’d give Breaking Bad a slight edge for an overly amazing season, but won’t be surprised and will be delighted when either of them wins.


BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House


The Mentalist, seriously? Anyway…Breaking Bad and Mad Men are the only two shows in this group I watch, but I still find it hard to believe anyone can top the performances of Cranston and Hamm. Though I’ve heard that House was especially good last season. I’d give it to Bryan Cranston, but while imagining Jon Hamm with his shirt off.


BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Glenn Close, Damages
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer


Oh I have no idea. I watch Brothers & Sisters and kind of hate Sally Field’s character, so I’d rather not see her win again (or was it the Golden Globe she won? Regardless, she still shouldn’t win). Elisabeth Moss is fantastic in Mad Men, but I fear she’s still seen as too small a character to warrant an award. So I’ll have to pick from a show I’ve never seen. I’ve heard Damages is good, so let’s go with Glenn Close.


SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal
Michael Emerson, Lost
William Hurt, Damages
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
William Shatner, Boston Legal
John Slattery, Mad Men


Boston Legal doesn’t even look like it belongs grouped in with these other shows. My guess is Aaron Paul. It can’t be easy playing a sympathetic junkie/drug-dealer. Playing one convincingly is damn near impossible.


SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Rose Byrne, Damages
Hope Davis, In Treatment
Cherry Jones, 24
Sandra Oh, Grey’s Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Chandra Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy


Of this group I only watch Grey’s Anatomy, and it really sucks right now (I said I watched it, I didn’t say I was happy about it). So how about…Dianne Wiest? She’s a classy lady, and from the couple of season 1 episodes of In Treatment I saw, that show is ALL about the drama.


REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
Top Chef


Reality TV is the scourge of the television world. What I predict will happen: The Amazing Race will win. What I’d like to see happen: The stage opens into a black hole and sucks them all into an alternate universe.


So there are my winner predictions. I also predict that NPH will be a far superior host than the five non-hosts they had last year, there will be at least one out of place musical number, and there will be no fewer than half a dozen Kanye jokes made. Yo, Bryan Cranston, I’m really happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but NO ONE wears a suit like my man Don Draper!


Can you predict more winners than me? Probably! So prove it!


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