Monday, January 24, 2011

Shenanigans: Happy 2011!

Years ago, when I was younger, starrier-eyed, and didn’t have to work full time, I would occasionally create these stupid, poorly illustrated stories in MS Paint depicting some ridiculous and/or inane event in my life that would really only be funny to me and maybe two other people. And I called this series of crudely depicted tales ‘Shenanigans.’ So seeing how this is a new year and this is my blog (ergo, I can do what I want with it), I’m tentatively reviving Shenanigans and, well, we’ll see how it goes.

In my first Shenanigans story, I will detail how I spent New Year’s Eve.

For those who know me personally, it’s no secret that I can be a bit antisocial and lazy about making plans. But I was determined to ring in 2011 with some semblance of celebration after the previous year’s New Year’s Eve left a lot to be desired.

I belong to an online listing that offers severely discounted tickets to various events and performances in the city, and they had a listing for a New Year’s Eve party for singles. This seemed like a good idea for several reasons.

So I proposed attending this party to my best friend, who agreed.

Unfortunately, being the idiot I can be sometimes, I failed to see the one big major downside to attending a party specifically for singles: Scores of creepy and poorly socialized people assuming that everyone else there is as desperate as they are for companionship.

Upon entering the club, everyone got a card with the name of one half of a famous couple on it. As an ice breaker game (ugh) you were supposed to find your “mate” in the crowd and win a prize of some sort. My identity was…Barbie.

I wasn’t particularly interested in seeking out Ken in the crowd, but more focused on having a few drinks, eating a few pigs in a blanket, and hanging out with some cool chicks. But this was not the case with the other party guests, and the rest of the night progressed something like this:

Gaggle of creepy dudes aside, it was still an improvement over my welcome to 2010. And no, I never did seek out Ken. Because what am I supposed to do with a guy who can’t bend his joints and whose nether region is as smooth as pigs in a blanket are awesome?

Oh, and kitty still wishes everyone a happy new year. 

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